Monday, August 21, 2017

Grieving & Counselling! Once More Indian system shit hits the fan!

There are only two things in this world that are certain. One is Death and the other is Taxes!!!

While there are good mechanism, people with capability exist to manage Taxes, I am not sure in our Indian Eco system there are good measures available to handle DEATH!

Even a strong minded, emotionally stable person like me is beginning to feel the strain of losing my father, a good 100 hours after lighting his funeral pyre.  In my case,Father's passing away was  more or less anticipated with a question of "When" rather than "IF" ever since my Urologist clearly told me he had just weeks in his account once secondaries surfaced. I cant help wonder in situations,where a dear /near ones depart a world in a more tragic situation like young age, accidents, body not traceable or murder which leads to its own trauma and mental shock what kind of solace, support, counselling, grieving exist for people to recover and lead a normal life in say weeks/ months????

This is where a system need to exist for managing stress/strain through professional counselling and offering comfort and solace. I am not sure I could have reached out to any one through a professional network and seek a remedy. More, I see the system, more I feel and proved right that asking for help is assumed as a symbol of weakness in our environment rather than seen assumed as a symbol of strength. 

I am glad that I had worked my Emotional / Spiritual / Social / Physical energy and intelligence through my western way of wiring my mind to face such eventualities.  This is now fully coming handy. I am positive that I shall overcome this situation with my way and thought process I have built in. Things will be all right in a few days. ( This blog post is an expression to seek solace, vent) Once again, this goes to prove my point of view that anything INDIAN other than Indian wife is not trustworthy dependable when push comes to shove or nothing exist to which you can reach out! 

Dad's departure also now exposes me to a new world out there which calls for different sets of rules and protocols. Restricted food items, times and types of meals a day, fasting etc, aligning to solar/lunar calendar, have now become norms to which I never bothered adhering to as long as he was around.

We are proceeding with the rituals, we have done 7 days so far. I must say time flies, tomorrow this time (735pm) would have been a week since Dad departed this world. Lalitha, Uma, Mom are doing their best to meet the needs of the departed aathma until it finds its resting place in heaven on the 11th/12th day.

Finally, I am just amazed/stunned by the phone calls, personal visits, email, whats app, Twitter, Face book on people who have expressed their condolences, support, consolation to us. Dad's departure had opened an opportunity to  build bridge with relatives in the second and third circle, which were practically defunct/ frozen for whatever reasons. I am also touched with people travelling 4-5 hours by flight/road to reach Karaikudi and spend 30 minutes with us, shows their love and affection for Dad.

Take it easy, take care, Stay Safe.

21/8/17 1945 Hrs.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Dad 10th Day Dasaasthu Intimation!

10th Day Ceremony Announcement:- (Dasaasthu) 
We like to announce with grief, the passing away of our Beloved Father, Dr TM Balasubramaniam , aged 80, Retired Deputy Director, #CECRI, Karaikudi, on Tuesday, 15th August 2017 at 1930 Hrs at our residence in Karaikudi. TN.

The Dasaasthu, 10th day ceremony and onwards for Athmaa Shanti shall be conducted at his residence, “GAYATHRI Niwas, 4, Pillayar Koil Street, Sekkalai, Karaikudi, 630002, (Opp Mena Hall) on Thursday 24th August 2017, from 1030am Onwards. 

Kannan Vadhiyaar who is our family priest for 15 years ( His late grandfather was too, 1973-2002) would lead the rituals. 

The 13th day subha karyam shall be performed on Sunday 27th August from 11am onwards. 

We seek your participation.

Karthik and Lalitha
Anand and Uma.
Phone 04565 224517 (Land Line)
18th Aug 2017


எங்களது அன்பு தகப்பனார் Dr  TM பாலசுப்ரமணியம், வயது 80, retired #CECRI காரைக்குடி, அவர்கள் 15/8/17 செவ்வாய் அன்று இரவு 730 மணி அளவில் சிவலோக பிராப்தி அடையந்தார்.

10ம் நாள் தசாஸ்து காரியங்கள் 24.8.17 வியாழன் காலை  1030 மணி  முதல் காரைக்குடி செக்காலை , பிள்ளையார் கோயில் தெரு ,மேனா ஹால் எதிரில் உள்ள எமது இல்லத்தில் (காயத்ரி நிவாஸ்) நடை பெறும்.

13ம் நாள் சுப காரியம் கிரேக்கியாம் 27.8.11 ஞாயிறு நடை பெறும்  

தாங்கள் கலந்து கொண்டால் நன்று 

கார்த்திக் & லலிதா 
ஆனந்த் & உமா 
Update:- 19/8/17 930am
We completed the 5th Day ceremony. Made up pouring holy water, food ,honey,milk, curd and covered Day 1,2,3,4 as well. This was same place where grandfather's ceremony was done 1995. The same room, all 3, GF,GM and dad's soul departed.

Karaikudi, 945am. 

Friday, August 18, 2017

It is sinking in.... Dad is no more!


As I posted on my Facebook page, Father, Dr TM BALASUBRAMANIAN, passed away on 15th AUG 2017. Coincidentally his father, my grandfather passed away on 25.1.95 and was cremated on Republic day the day after. The end was painless and swift. I saw inner peace in his face. While I was strong and composed while pouring the "AGNI" on his chest and fire engulfing his body in minutes, 8 hours later that night, when I was going through old pictures of his life, something gave in and I cried a lot a good 24 hours post his departure.  Anand and I immersed his ashes at Cauvery river at Trichy.  I posted the announcement of his departure in today HINDU (TN Edition)

The 10th to 13th day ceremonies are being held as indicated above to complete the Athmaa get its blissful resting. 

I am already beginning to feel the change that I need to adapt and wonder how being a son with father around absolves /relieves you of many types of ritual you need to undertake to fulfil human obligations, more so if you are the eldest.

I am amazed at the support we as family got from our relatives, friends, CECRI colleagues, well wishers for all logistics support for his last journey as well as consolation and emotional support that has been pouring in. Touching to hear people/relatives who have marriages in their family in coming days, putting aside preparation for a joyous event and participating in the grieving. Some folks even ready to accompany on Dad's last journey only to be firmly refused to participate by our family priest. in view of health/oncoming marriage a happy event soon. Goes to show if you want to see how popular a man was, watch his funeral procession. Thank you everyone. 

The family deeply thanks the medical services of Doctors who treated him as well as the Nurse whom we hired to take care of his needs over the last 6 weeks. The girl did a superb job in meeting the medical needs and make his last days a bit more comfortable than normally possible for a terminal illness patient.

Dad a life well lived! Mother may have some tough time to be all alone after 55 years of living her life adapting to father's needs and now has to charter her own path. I / we the children, have given her the choice to work her path as she sees fit and would support all the decisions she takes. 

18/7/17 1145am. 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

DUNKIRK ! Plastic!!! Sir Curtly et all!

#288 13/8/17 1945 hrs

1) Dad Update:- Doctors at Karaikudi have advised us that Dad is not in a medically fit position to be shifted to Bangalore! The Respiratory monitoring and physical fatigue of transfer even with doctor's care in an ICU on wheels are of Moderate risk. Lalitha and I would wok a plan to be there at Karaikudi at regular frequency to work support systems to Mom. Please keep him in your prayers as they work wonders! Thanks. 

2) Today after watching #DUNKIRK at IMAX @Mantri Mall, we ( Shravan and I) took the metro on the home journey. My first visit on Bangalore metro. I was very impressed with cleanliness as well as it gave me different bird view of Bangalore city skyline. Awesome work!!

So It was movie time, after 6 movies in 27 years, I have now decided that with grown up Kids (!!!) around, I need to accept invite to watch movies with them. Yes, English movies are only exception and so it will be one great movie a year!! 2016 was JACK REACHER-2 ( I didnt watch 1) and 2017 today was #DUNKIRK. An awesome movie on British courage, Resilience to evacuate 330,000 allied soldiers from shores of Dunkirk from German onslaught. Christopher Nolan was worked wonders. More so the movie is magic in an INOX environment with amazing visual effect and surround sound around you. My bet is that the movie will bag a couple of Academy awards. I also posted my thoughts on the movie and how it connects to my safety profession yesterday. 

I was listening to the BBC Podcast on 50 things that changed the modern economy and today it was about Plastic. 110 years since Bakelite ( Phenol + Formaldehyde) resin was synthesises and plastic plays a huge role in our life! I cant think of an item where there is no plastic!! Wonder how far ahead it would go?? 
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Sir Richie Richardson as Match referee in India Vs Sri Lanka Score card. (Rarely follow game check score once in 2 days or so, I dont know today's state of match now) So I Googled as usual and it was delight to see Richie, Curtly and Andy Roberts are knighted for their services to Cricket. 11 West Indian players have received the Honor! I wonder how I missed this news in 2014! Great effort by them! Ambrose for me is always remembered by 7/1 spell! Roberts in his Fiery Perth 1975 Spell!!

OK World take it easy, take care, stay safe, GOD BLESS

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Et Tu Google! Babubhai prevailed! What a son??!!! Images!!!

#287 12th Aug 2017 08am
1) Hyderabad airport has introduced kerbside Express Security check in the first of its kind, in the country. I had experience it yesterday. Just get out of car walk through two scan for boarding pass ( airline staff) in to sec check at gate. You dont even get to see airline counters. All over in 45 seconds. Yes, you should have done web check in and no check in baggage. The challenge is with many business travellers this fast line can become slow. Also pathetic are the display boards and electric plug points. I didnt find my gate to board even 40 min to departure so walked around to find gate as well as without any electric devices charging point in 4000 SQ FT of space. Makes me more feel,nothing like Bangalore airport......
2) Dunkirk is getting awesome review, I might work a plan to Sunday with Son to watch it. I might relax my norms to watch a movie to one a year. (It is 6 in 28 years so far hahah) Jack Reacher, never go back was last year. Lot of my Twitter followers suggested watching it in IMAX so we might make it to Mantri Mall and keep it post lunch event Sunday perhaps! (While Radhu Lalitha do shopping hopping!!) 

I always believed that Man and Woman are created different by god and comparing them is sheer nonsense. So I am not amused when the Google Engineer, James Damore, said what he said and stupidly Google fired him. As I tweeted, Ask a Woman pee from 30 feet on to a wall, she can't!! Similarly ask a man to hold a litre of coke in to his Dick, he can't. The diverse ability they bring in is  what makes world a pleasurable place to live. Comparing and matching one to other to skill sets is sheer nonsense. I believe Google lost the free opinion work space and succumbed to political correctness platform that is beginning to kill the world. If world ends,it will be definitely due to the stupid political correctness stand that it is taking rather foolishly!!
While I am a Die hard, Anti BJP, Anti Hindu Thugs and Anti Saffron Scoundrels Brigade, I am not a Congress, AAP supporter as people assume I am to be! ( Of course, Mrs Gandhi Influenced my thinking a lot). I am extremely happy that Babubhai (Ahmed Patel as is known in Bharuch where I lived 85-96) won the Rajya Sabha elections. As Hindu editorial and Cartoon portrayed, BJP has excreta on its face in its attempt to bully harass Congress MPs. DK Shivakumar role in this to come to party's rescue despire personal harassment can't be ignored. But would BJP Pigs learn their lesson?? I doubt? Brainless Bastards they are!!!! Also crucial is the role played by Appuchi with election commission in nullifying the Congoon thugs votes!! hahahh!!!! BJP can't have one at its ranks to work such magic!! 


It was heart wrenching to read a news item that Son came back from USA to Bombay, finds mother a skeleton and has not contacted her for 15 months.! Mom has been dead for weeks in a locked in House!! Where is world getting in to?? What /where are emotional bonds? Is the current generation focused so much on success, I, ME, Myself?? I agree that these are Outliers of an event that gets attention ( News is more about what goes wrong rather than what gets done right,!!) still?????

I leave you with some of images that caught my imagination this week that came from my whatsapp group!! hahahah!!!

Take it easy, take care, stay safe, God bless

Sunday, August 06, 2017

Vengayaam Bugger, God needs Recommendation !! Indigo 11 years ,அடப்பாவி கூகுளே

#286Housekeeping:-1) I was away to Karaikudi last week. Dad is kind of on and off! The good news is we found a great medically trained nurse to serve him, hopefully the girl stays! With Anand, his wife, Kids, Mom all falling sick (Dengue etc) the decision to shift him or not to Bangalore has been pushed back for some time. What worries me is the absolute lack of medical, test facilities, or Doctor on call to attend such situation at Karaikudi. I would keep you posted. I am amazed at power of prayers.

2) Amazing, the resort I stay in outskirts of Hyderabad, has a wonderful Ayaapaa Temple. As a guy who is not wired to follow the strict norms to go Sabarimala, I am amazed the temple is stone throw distance, shows If thing has to happen, it will happen! I visit the temple twice a day..... With less than 10 people visiting temple, it is all serene, calm, quiet!!

3) Hahahhahhah! Radhu on my video whatsapp call with her yesterday, says I look like a Tamil film VILLAN!! Why? because of Kumkum on my forehead??? Wonder where she got impression I am sure she has seen 0 Tamil movies !! ehhehehehehheh

hahhahahah!!! We are a banana republic proved, VENGAYAAM (Onion in Tamil) the most corrupt, scandalous politician has been voted to office of VP. I have met his name sake from his village during my travel in  Gujarat who knows him for 30 years and was reeling off stunning episodes of this screwball. But then India has been going to dogs in the last 3 years so no big surprise that the shit has hit the fan!! Our consolation is we are better of Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan!!!! I am sure end game is near!!! This news that South Asia will be uninhabitable by 2100 confirms it!! With the kind of sins, greed, loot and not thinking of next generations after us, I think INDIA deserves the end!!
Even God requires help push from the powers be!! During my visit to Karaikudi, I visited the Vaidyanatha Swamy, Thayaal Nayaki, Sivan temple. This temple is situated next to Ganesh temple which is 115 years old. I recollect the construction began in late 1960s and stopped for unknown reason for next 20+ years. We use to play cricket there!! When, R Venkatraman, became president, the  Nagarathars/ Chettiars approached him for resolution and he intervened and temple was completed in 1991 and now in to its 26th year !! Strange is it not that god needs recommendation in India, what is hope for common man like you and me????????? 

I was flying INDIGO Wednesday, AUG 4th marks 11 years of launching of INDIGO Airlines,!!! It has come a long way and is now my most preferred airline for my business travels. I recollect out of 100+ flights of mine, only a couple have been delayed by > 30 minutes that too at Bombay runway closure etc. I wish them great success. Of course, the caution in India is JET AIRWAYS was going great until 10+ years and then strike happened and things went downhill never to recover the top notch performance. 
ஹஹஹஹஹஹ டேய் பாவி பய கூகிள் !!!! The CEO is a TAMIL Guy! and this!! ehhehehehehhehehheheh! 
Until next week, take it easy, take care stay safe.
6/8/17, 0820am, Bonthapally! 

John McCain.

#329 Very sad to wake up to the news of passing away of Senator John McCain aged 81 (4 days short of his 82nd Birthday).  He was a true ...