#561
We all have moments in life when holding on feels easier than letting go. Whether it’s the sting of betrayal, the weight of jealousy, or even the warm glow of love and joy, our past experiences tend to cling to us like shadows. They shape our reactions, influence our decisions, and, often, trap us in a cycle of reliving what once was. The truth is, both negative and positive experiences can derail progress if we allow them to dictate our future. Letting go is not just about releasing the hurt; it’s also about detaching from the highs, the joys, and the pride that can create a fear of taking new paths or prevent us from taking intelligent risks.
Why Letting Go Is Essential
We often hear the saying, "Let it go," but do we truly understand its depth? To let go is to make peace with the past, to allow the scars to heal without constantly picking at them. It’s not about forgetting or erasing what happened but acknowledging it without letting it control your present or future. Holding on to grudges, ill will, or even the memory of being wronged, burdens the mind. It affects our ability to make decisions, engage in new relationships, and embrace change with an open heart.
From my personal journey, there are incidents that still bring a pang of pain when I reflect on them after good 40 years,—particularly moments of betrayal or when I was wrongly accused of harboring ill will, despite my honest intentions. Even after searching my soul, being the blunt and straightforward person I am, no evidence within me justified such accusations. And yet, those moments linger, creating self-doubt and hesitation when similar situations arise in life.
The Challenge of Letting Go
Letting go is never easy. Our minds tend to hold on to negativity more than positivity, an evolutionary instinct to protect ourselves from future harm. But if we continue to let past wounds dictate our actions, we end up building walls instead of bridges. This is where the practice of replacing negative thoughts with contrarian, positive images or thoughts comes into play. It’s about actively choosing to shift your mindset whenever you feel yourself spiraling into past hurts.
Remember the age-old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." It’s a reminder that we need to learn from our past to avoid becoming victims again. The lesson here isn’t just to let go, but also to grow. Analyze the situation, understand what went wrong, and let it strengthen you, not shackle you.
One of the most significant example from my own professional life was my decision to join Ingersoll Rand 12 years ago—a move I quickly realized was a total misjudgment. ( It also taught me an another important lesson, never take back the offer you declined- which I did 48 hrs, overriding my gut feel), I left within three months, and that marked the end of my corporate life. Looking back, the move away from Honeywell was necessary due to the growing disconnect between corporate and business factors. Exiting on my own terms early, helped preserve relationships with Business people, that would have otherwise strained, had I stayed on and being pushed out which was round the corner. I didn’t let my brief stint at Ingersoll Rand linger in my mind or cloud my judgment. I had a let go that situation. Instead, I saw it as a necessary push to leave corporate life for good, which I now (in 2024) see as a world that often felt like a maze of politics, inept leadership, and a lack of daring decisions as well as Intelligent risk taking besides taking care of people- A core value in our times!
Letting go of that corporate failure allowed me to channel my energy into my consulting career with a renewed sense of purpose, freedom, and enthusiasm. It pushed me to tap into my global network, leverage my skills, and make substantial progress over the past 12 years. As I now reflect, I realize that being 'pushed out' in the larger sense was a blessing in disguise—a catalyst for growth that set me on a new path. (Boy, how time flies!)
Hindu Philosophy: Forgive, Forget, and Move On
Hindu philosophy has a beautiful approach to this concept. The idea of forgiveness and forgetting is deeply rooted in the teachings of Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads. It’s not just about forgiving others; it’s also about forgiving yourself. The essence is to detach from the fruits of your actions—whether good or bad—and to engage in the journey of life without being consumed by past outcomes.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna advises Arjuna to perform his duty without attachment, without letting success or failure dictate his spirit. This mindset encourages us to focus on the present moment and to live with purpose and clarity, unburdened by the shadows of our past. The practice of letting go in Hindu thought isn't passive resignation but an active release, a conscious decision to not let the past weigh down the soul.
Developing a Deliberate Practice
Mastering the art of letting go requires deliberate practice. It’s like training a muscle; the more you do it, the stronger it becomes. Whenever thoughts of past grievances or even overly nostalgic memories creep in, consciously replace them with thoughts that ground you in the present. Ask yourself, "How can I move forward with this knowledge?" rather than "Why did this happen to me?" Redirecting your focus from victimhood to empowerment is a skill that grows with time.
One way to approach this is by building resilience through positive imagery. Visualize a different outcome or a lesson learned. For example, if a memory of betrayal surfaces, think of how that situation made you stronger, wiser, and more discerning in your relationships. If you dwell on a past success, remind yourself that there are new peaks to conquer, that your journey is far from over.
Quotes to Reflect On
Several thinkers and philosophers have spoken about the art of letting go, each providing a unique lens on this universal challenge:
- Buddha said, “In the end, these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”
- Rumi reminds us, “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes in another form.”
- Eckhart Tolle emphasizes, “Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
These words are reminders that the power to shape our lives lies in our ability to let go of what holds us back. To let go is to claim your freedom, to free your mind and soul from the chains of yesterday, and to embrace today with an open heart.
Moving On: A Journey, Not a Destination
Letting go is not a one-time act; it’s a continuous journey. It’s about giving up the need to have control over what happened and focusing instead on what you can do now. Life will always present crossroads and challenges that require us to make tough choices. When we carry the weight of past experiences, both good and bad, it clouds our judgment and makes those choices harder.
I’ve been fortunate enough to shape my life around the philosophy of letting go and moving on, yet some scars remain. And that’s okay. Letting go doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen; it means not letting it dictate your future. It’s a skill, a mastery that can transform your life if practiced with intention and heart.
Let me know what you think?
Karthik.
10/10/24 930am.
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