#603
Context: Apple Watch Prompt at 330am this morning.
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Listening has never been my strongest suit. As a High "D" in the DiSC profile with a firm belief in my subject expertise and a "my way or the highway" approach, I’ve often dominated conversations, resolving issues efficiently on my own terms. While this has served me well professionally, the recent mindfulness and slow pace of life I’ve embraced has opened a new perspective: the transformative power of quiet and active listening.
Recognising the Challenge
My nature leans toward quick solutions and decisive action, leaving little room for others to voice their thoughts. Conversations often felt transactional, and my interruptions—whether out of impatience or the drive to prove myself—detracted from the quality of communication. But slowing down, both in life and in my responses, has helped me realise the value of hearing others out fully. Letting people finish speaking is a small but significant step I’ve recently begun to master.
Progress So Far:-
In these months of intentional change, I’ve observed:
- Reduced Interruptions: I'm no longer rushing to fill gaps in conversation or cutting people off mid-sentence.
- Improved Composure: I’m learning to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
- Deeper Engagement: My conversations now feel richer, with more genuine connections being formed.
- The conversations I initiate have reduced considerably,(Even Lalitha aghast when my cousin from USA was here @Bangalore, and she felt I didn't engage much with him hahahhahah!).
While I’ve seen progress, I know there’s still a long way to go to become an active and empathetic listener.
The Path to Active and Quiet Listening
To build on this journey, I’ve identified key areas to focus on:
Mindful Presence:
Practising mindfulness helps anchor my attention to the present moment, making me less likely to zone out or jump to conclusions. Techniques like deep breathing before a conversation or consciously setting an intention to listen can prepare the mind to focus.Avoiding Assumptions:
Being highly opinionated often leads me to assume where a conversation is heading. Replacing these assumptions with curiosity helps keep the focus on the speaker’s thoughts, not my predictions.Delaying Responses:
The urge to reply immediately is strong, especially when I believe I have the answer. Pausing for even a few seconds ensures I’ve understood the speaker fully and allows space for them to elaborate.Active Non-Verbal Cues:
Quiet listening isn’t just about silence; it’s also about engagement. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and giving affirming gestures signal attentiveness without interrupting the flow.Reflective Summarising:
Paraphrasing or summarising what the other person has said shows that I’ve not only heard them but also understood their point. This fosters mutual respect and encourages open dialogue.Seeking Feedback:
Asking those I frequently interact with for feedback on my listening skills can highlight blind spots and reinforce accountability in my growth journey. Lalitha has been of immense help, to such an extent that she gives blunt feedback- an alien trait for her.!Embracing Silence:
Sometimes, silence is the most powerful tool in listening. It allows space for deeper sharing and introspection, fostering a sense of safety for the speaker.
Why This Matters
Active and quiet listening is more than just a communication skill—it’s a path to self-improvement. It cultivates empathy, strengthens relationships, and reduces anxiety. For someone like me, who has lived with a strong need to prove myself, and stay on top, it’s a humbling yet enriching experience to shift focus from self-expression to understanding others.
Final Thoughts
Listening isn’t about losing control or compromising effectiveness—it’s about gaining clarity and fostering connections that are more meaningful and productive. As I continue to navigate this 180-degree transformation, I find that the journey itself is rewarding, teaching me patience, resilience, and the quiet strength of understanding.
What do you think?
Karthik
9th Dec 2024 9am.
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