So true!! Most of the bosses these days camouflage their contempt through Indifference/ silence etc as this article rightly points out! They would deny that they behave in such a way.! (The Silent Assassin like Diabetes)!!!
Poor souls in High Power distance countries like India can not even reach out and question why the boss behaves the way (s)he does! I feel pity for them... This leads to performance decay and the poor guy becomes a rut... Only when he is pushed to a corner up on humiliation after the humiliation he works an exit strategy. The sad aspect of work life these days!!.....
I feel how lucky we were, 30 years ago, (I would say even 15 years ago!) to work with great bosses as well as Bosses who had care/ empathy as well as intelligence to guide their team. We owe our success to such bosses in both personal and professional life thanks to their guidance.
Also 30 years back there was a direct confrontation with a go-to-hell attitude on both sides with you giving back as good as you get !! Those days are gone! (I was one of such shouting/ screaming- Insulting words back then with only one boss, He was a Horror!! my only unlucky one for 6 months in the previous century!!! ahhahahahhhahhahh! I wonder if he is still alive!!!! )...
Regards
Karthik.
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Bad bosses are evolving not disappearing
Scrutiny has made it harder to be an overt bully but subtler forms of harassment can be as destructive Grace Lordan JULY 31 2023
When people imagine a bully boss in the workplace, they conjure up images of tantrums, mockery, shouting and intimidating behaviour. They visualise sexism, racism, homophobia and cultures of fear. They recall stories of workplaces that have at times been reported as having bullying cultures, such as Westminster, Goldman Sachs, the Metropolitan Police or Uber.
But this type of old-fashioned bully is thankfully finding it increasingly hard to survive at the top levels of organisations. When they do, it is usually in the form of a high-income generator in a company with a poor HR department, or a senior leader in public service where it is harder to get fired.
The old-fashioned bully boss is being made extinct by market forces that demand managers are “high empathy”. High empathy managers empower their team, enable equal opportunities for progression and create psychologically safe environments that allow for challenge and dissent. They can navigate their organisations through times of great uncertainty by consistently delivering on the promises they make, and explaining the reasons on occasions they cannot. High empathy managers will never attract media headlines for cronyism, misogyny or threatening colleagues.
But as scrutiny has made it harder to be an overt bully, a new type of negative persona has evolved who can convincingly mimic the traits of the empathetic leader. Like the high empathy leader, the modern-day bully boss is eloquent. But unlike the high empathy leader, they do not walk the talk.
The new type of bully boss keeps their emotions in check and does not fly off the handle. But they use more subtle and insidious forms of mistreatment: they ignore and isolate colleagues they do not rate.
The modern-day bully boss sidelines rather than shouts. They “forget” to invite colleagues to meetings, rather than humiliate them when they speak up with ideas. They ignore their promotion rather than overtly argue against it. They avoid hard conversations about their behaviour rather than engage in self-reflection.
They are a particular threat as subtler forms of harassment are less likely to be taken seriously by HR. This can result in affected colleagues being unsure of their footing in the organisation and suffering deteriorating wellbeing.
The modern-day bully boss is high ego. They want to feel good about themselves and be around people who agree with them. They have the tendency to hire their friends and people who share their perspectives so they can avoid challenge. Such a “mirror-tocracy” is bad news for under-represented but talented staff, who will find themselves with fewer opportunities to develop or be promoted.
A mirror-tocratic approach makes the modern-day bully more secure in their position. It is less likely that a friend they hire will attempt to keep their isolating behaviour in check like an outsider might.
If you approach a modern day bully to question their behaviour, they will probably be defensive and deny it is happening. This gaslighting contrasts to a time poor leader who excludes you unconsciously and will address the issue when you raise it. It also contrasts to a high empathy leader who will slow down and have the necessary hard conversation.
My behavioural science research at the London School of Economics has identified other archetypes of bad bosses. The egotist is a self-absorbed and insecure manager who cannot cope with being challenged and will not let employees succeed to a level that is equal or higher to their own achievements. The mediocre manager is borderline incompetent with their core tasks, but perfectly adept at playing company politics. They often thrive because they pander to senior egotists and will probably blame subordinates for their mistakes. And the overly nice boss puts smiles ahead of productivity and avoids hard discussions and challenges.
Navigating a problematic boss is difficult as they are the gatekeeper to progression, promotion and pay within your organisation. Your boss has a significant role in your financial security and personal wellbeing. A bad boss is the most common reason anyone leaves a job. It is particularly difficult when quitting is not an attractive option.
But there are some ways to manage a tricky relationship.
First, enter compliance mode: make every detail regarding your pay and career progression as transparent as possible.
Take your focus off your boss and pay more attention to opportunities in the wider organisation. Expand your networks and seek out external opportunities. Don’t let risk aversion keep you stuck with a boss who will not enable you to reach your full potential.
Get some physical distance: secure a desk that is not in your boss’s line of vision, or work remotely.
And finally, establish boundaries between your work and home life that allow you to switch off and improve your wellbeing.
If the relationship does not improve it might be time to set a strict deadline to get yourself a new boss doing the same job elsewhere.
Scrutiny has made it harder to be an overt bully but subtler forms of harassment can be as destructive Grace Lordan JULY 31 2023
When people imagine a bully boss in the workplace, they conjure up images of tantrums, mockery, shouting and intimidating behaviour. They visualise sexism, racism, homophobia and cultures of fear. They recall stories of workplaces that have at times been reported as having bullying cultures, such as Westminster, Goldman Sachs, the Metropolitan Police or Uber.
But this type of old-fashioned bully is thankfully finding it increasingly hard to survive at the top levels of organisations. When they do, it is usually in the form of a high-income generator in a company with a poor HR department, or a senior leader in public service where it is harder to get fired.
The old-fashioned bully boss is being made extinct by market forces that demand managers are “high empathy”. High empathy managers empower their team, enable equal opportunities for progression and create psychologically safe environments that allow for challenge and dissent. They can navigate their organisations through times of great uncertainty by consistently delivering on the promises they make, and explaining the reasons on occasions they cannot. High empathy managers will never attract media headlines for cronyism, misogyny or threatening colleagues.
But as scrutiny has made it harder to be an overt bully, a new type of negative persona has evolved who can convincingly mimic the traits of the empathetic leader. Like the high empathy leader, the modern-day bully boss is eloquent. But unlike the high empathy leader, they do not walk the talk.
The new type of bully boss keeps their emotions in check and does not fly off the handle. But they use more subtle and insidious forms of mistreatment: they ignore and isolate colleagues they do not rate.
The modern-day bully boss sidelines rather than shouts. They “forget” to invite colleagues to meetings, rather than humiliate them when they speak up with ideas. They ignore their promotion rather than overtly argue against it. They avoid hard conversations about their behaviour rather than engage in self-reflection.
They are a particular threat as subtler forms of harassment are less likely to be taken seriously by HR. This can result in affected colleagues being unsure of their footing in the organisation and suffering deteriorating wellbeing.
The modern-day bully boss is high ego. They want to feel good about themselves and be around people who agree with them. They have the tendency to hire their friends and people who share their perspectives so they can avoid challenge. Such a “mirror-tocracy” is bad news for under-represented but talented staff, who will find themselves with fewer opportunities to develop or be promoted.
A mirror-tocratic approach makes the modern-day bully more secure in their position. It is less likely that a friend they hire will attempt to keep their isolating behaviour in check like an outsider might.
If you approach a modern day bully to question their behaviour, they will probably be defensive and deny it is happening. This gaslighting contrasts to a time poor leader who excludes you unconsciously and will address the issue when you raise it. It also contrasts to a high empathy leader who will slow down and have the necessary hard conversation.
My behavioural science research at the London School of Economics has identified other archetypes of bad bosses. The egotist is a self-absorbed and insecure manager who cannot cope with being challenged and will not let employees succeed to a level that is equal or higher to their own achievements. The mediocre manager is borderline incompetent with their core tasks, but perfectly adept at playing company politics. They often thrive because they pander to senior egotists and will probably blame subordinates for their mistakes. And the overly nice boss puts smiles ahead of productivity and avoids hard discussions and challenges.
Navigating a problematic boss is difficult as they are the gatekeeper to progression, promotion and pay within your organisation. Your boss has a significant role in your financial security and personal wellbeing. A bad boss is the most common reason anyone leaves a job. It is particularly difficult when quitting is not an attractive option.
But there are some ways to manage a tricky relationship.
First, enter compliance mode: make every detail regarding your pay and career progression as transparent as possible.
Take your focus off your boss and pay more attention to opportunities in the wider organisation. Expand your networks and seek out external opportunities. Don’t let risk aversion keep you stuck with a boss who will not enable you to reach your full potential.
Get some physical distance: secure a desk that is not in your boss’s line of vision, or work remotely.
And finally, establish boundaries between your work and home life that allow you to switch off and improve your wellbeing.
If the relationship does not improve it might be time to set a strict deadline to get yourself a new boss doing the same job elsewhere.
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