#551
Context: I watched a video of 15 year old girl, shot her mother to death (Step father escaped with shoulder wounds and overpowered her!) in Missisippi, USA. The mother found out that her daughter lived a secret life, that of a extensive drug user. The girl wanted to eliminate her mother and step father!!! While guns are not used in India, with all habits, way of life all crossing national boundaries rapidly, in this information age/world, how long before such Incidents happen here! I wonder, So the post!
In recent years, the lives of youngsters, particularly those under 20, have become more complicated than ever. Bullying in schools, recreational stealing, emotional disconnection from family, and a growing reliance on technology for comfort have led to an alarming rise in mental health issues and, tragically, instances of suicide. The pressures they face from peers, society, and even themselves often go unnoticed by parents, teachers, and society at large.What’s even more concerning is the rise in confiscated contraband—drugs, cigarettes, condoms, and even pregnancy prevention pills—during school bag searches, which is becoming alarmingly common in metro cities like Mumbai, Delhi, and Bangalore. How did we reach this point? More importantly, what can be done to safeguard our youth from these growing threats?
How Did We Get Here?
When I was growing up in the 1970s, issues like rampant bullying, stealing, and emotional disconnection were almost unheard of. Schools were relatively safe spaces, and family structures were more cohesive. So what changed?
There are several factors that have contributed to the erosion of these values over time:
Technology and Social Media Explosion: The rise of smartphones and social media has created a digital divide between children and their families. Social interactions that once took place in person are now happening online, often without any parental oversight. This has led to issues like cyberbullying and a disconnection from real-world relationships.
Increased Academic and Social Pressure: With the heightened focus on academic success and the fierce competition for college admissions and jobs, young people today are under more pressure than ever. This stress often manifests in unhealthy ways—bullying, self-isolation, or worse.
Erosion of Community and Cultural Values: In the past, strong community ties, family values, and cultural norms acted as buffers against many harmful behaviors. As families become more nuclear and both parents increasingly work outside the home, children are left to navigate these challenges on their own, leading to a lack of supervision and guidance.
Peer Influence and Stereotypes: The exposure to global trends and stereotypes, especially through media and entertainment, has normalized behaviors that were once seen as taboo. Drug use, premarital sex, and rebellious attitudes are now portrayed as acceptable or even desirable in popular culture, making it easier for youngsters to fall into harmful patterns.
These changes, while gradual, have dramatically altered the landscape in which today’s youth are growing up.
Way Forward:
1. Open and Non-Judgmental Communication
One of the most critical things parents can do is create an environment where their children feel safe enough to share their problems. However, this is easier said than done. In many Indian households, discussions about drugs, sex, or mental health are still taboo. Parents shy away from these conversations, assuming their children would never be involved in such matters. The unfortunate reality is that many children do experience these challenges but remain silent due to fear of judgment.
Example: Take the case of Aarav (name changed), a 16-year-old from Delhi who was caught smoking marijuana with his friends. His parents, who considered themselves liberal, were shocked. They later realized that despite having open conversations at home, they hadn’t created an environment where Aarav felt comfortable discussing the peer pressure he faced. Aarav later admitted that he wished he could have spoken to his parents before things escalated.
2. Setting Boundaries with Technology
In a world dominated by social media, it’s easy for youngsters to become addicted to their devices. Instead of banning phones outright, which can lead to rebellion, parents should work to set healthy boundaries. This could mean implementing screen time limits or creating tech-free zones in the house—perhaps during meals or before bedtime.
Example: In Bangalore, one school adopted a "digital detox" day where students were encouraged to avoid gadgets for 24 hours. Students initially resisted but eventually admitted they felt more relaxed and connected to their families without the constant digital noise. Parents noticed their children engaging in more meaningful conversations and sleeping better as a result of reduced screen exposure.
3. Addressing Mental Health Early
Mental health in India is still a stigmatized subject, especially for the younger generation. Many schools are slowly adopting counseling services, but much more needs to be done to normalize discussions about stress, anxiety, and depression.
Example : In a Mumbai school, after the unfortunate suicide of a student who had been bullied, the school introduced regular mental health workshops. These sessions aimed to teach students how to manage stress, identify signs of depression in themselves and others, and encourage them to seek help when needed. Schools across India can adopt similar programs to equip students with tools to handle emotional challenges before they spiral out of control.
4. Teaching Financial Literacy and Responsibility
When children start stealing from home or others, it’s often due to a lack of financial understanding or the need for quick gratification. Teaching them about money early on can instill a sense of responsibility and curb impulsive spending behavior.
Example: A family in Hyderabad decided to give their teenage daughter a monthly allowance and tasked her with budgeting her own expenses. By the end of six months, she learned how to manage her money responsibly, and the urge to “steal” for extra cash disappeared. Schools and parents can partner to teach children about the value of money and the consequences of theft.
5. Building Strong Community Support Systems
Communities, including schools, religious organizations, and local groups, need to play a stronger role in supporting young people. Many parents feel isolated in their struggles, not realizing that other families are facing the same issues. Regular parental support groups, where parents can share their experiences and seek advice, could be a great help.
Example: In Chennai, a group of parents came together to form a local "parenting circle" where they meet once a month to discuss challenges related to parenting teenagers. Over time, this group has become a pillar of support, offering practical advice and emotional encouragement.
6. Addressing Peer Pressure and Drug Use
Peer pressure is a significant contributor to drug and alcohol use among teenagers. Schools must take an active role in educating students about the dangers of drugs and equipping them with strategies to say "no."
Example : After a spate of drug-related incidents in a prominent Mumbai school, the administration invited former drug users to share their stories with students. This honest dialogue opened the eyes of many students, and the school saw a sharp decline in drug-related incidents afterward. Parents can follow up at home by reinforcing these lessons, showing interest in their children’s social lives, and ensuring they are making the right choices.
7. Parental Involvement Without Micromanaging
It’s a tricky balance—being involved without micromanaging. Children often lead secret lives when they feel smothered or overprotected. Giving them a bit of freedom while maintaining oversight is essential.
Example: In Ahmedabad, a father realized his constant snooping into his 14-year-old son’s phone was pushing him further away. After discussing the issue with a counselor, he decided to give his son more space while still staying engaged in his school activities and hobbies. Within months, their relationship improved, and the son started opening up more.
8. Early Detection of Problematic Behavior
Sometimes the signs of trouble are subtle—mood swings, withdrawal from family, or a sudden drop in school performance. Parents should be attuned to these changes and address them early before they escalate.
Example : A mother in Kolkata noticed her usually talkative daughter had become quiet and withdrawn. Rather than dismissing it as teenage moodiness, she sought the help of a school counselor, who discovered the girl was being bullied at school. Early intervention prevented the situation from worsening and helped the daughter regain her confidence.
9. Parental Education on Modern Challenges
Parents may not be fully aware of the modern challenges their children face, including cyberbullying, sexting, or the influence of social media influencers. Schools and organizations must help educate parents on these evolving issues so they can better guide their children.
Example : A parent-teacher association in Gurgaon held workshops to educate parents on the darker side of social media, including cyberbullying and online predators. Many parents left the session shocked, having previously believed their children were safe because they were at home. Armed with this knowledge, they now keep a closer eye on their children’s online activity.
10. Encouraging Hobbies and Positive Reinforcement
Idle hands can lead to trouble. Encouraging youngsters to pursue hobbies, sports, or creative outlets can help them focus their energy on positive activities. Recognizing and rewarding their achievements, both big and small, helps build self-esteem and keeps them motivated.
Example : A teenager in Pune with a budding interest in photography was encouraged by her parents to pursue this passion. They helped her set up an Instagram page to showcase her work. Her newfound hobby not only kept her away from negative influences but also boosted her confidence as she started getting recognition for her talents.
Conclusion
The challenges today’s youth face are complex and multifaceted. Parents, educators, and society must work together to provide the support, resources, and guidance they need to navigate these difficult years. It’s easy to dismiss these issues as “just a phase,” but in reality, they can have long-lasting impacts. We must act now to prevent the silent crisis that is engulfing our young generation, one conversation and one positive action at a time.
Karthik
20th Sep 2024, 10am.
