Karthik Unscripted: 20 Years of Thoughts and Insights: Red Pill, Blue Pill, Black Pill...! (Boys Are Not Broken: Reclaiming Balance in a Skewed Narrative)

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1997,Lady Hill; Mangalore.....! (Phew!!).....

Personal Update:- Thirty Years in Bangalore: A Journey of Joy and Growth

Today (7th June) marks the beginning of 30th year, of my move to Bangalore & Karnataka—a decision driven by the desire to provide the best education for my children and to be closer to my parents. Back then, the journey from Gujarat was no small feat; a 40-hour train ride to Karaikudi was a testament to our commitment to this new chapter. Looking back, I can say with certainty that it was one of the best decisions of my life, and I’ve never once regretted it.

Coming from Gujarat, the shift in work culture was significant. Yet, Bangalore’s vibrant MNC environment and unparalleled quality of life more than made up for it. This city welcomed us with open arms, offering opportunities, warmth, and a sense of belonging that has only grown stronger over the years.

As I reflect on these three decades, I’m filled with gratitude for Bangalore—its energy, its people, and the life it has enabled us to build. Here’s to this incredible city and all the happy memories we’ve created. Who knows? Maybe in another 20 years, when I’m 82, I’ll look back with even more stories to tell!

Thank you, Bangalore, for being THE home.

ಬಹುಶಃ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು 20 ವರ್ಷಗಳಲ್ಲಿ, ನನಗೆ 82 ವರ್ಷವಾದಾಗ, ನಾನು ಹೇಳಲು ಇನ್ನೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಕಥೆಗಳೊಂದಿಗೆ ಹಿಂತಿರುಗಿ ನೋಡುತ್ತೇನೆ! ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು, ಮನೆಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ ಧನ್ಯವಾದಗಳು.

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It hit me hard the other day. Dr. Phil’s podcast, “Red Pill, Blue Pill, Black Pill,” laid bare the quiet epidemic spreading across the young male population—especially in the United States, but increasingly visible worldwide, including in India. Boys under 18-21, are feeling isolated, anxious, unmotivated, and worst of all, unloved. They're growing up in a world that seems to view their very identity as a problem to be solved—if not a threat to be neutralised.

The issue is far more complex than hormonal angst or digital addiction. It’s structural, emotional, cultural—and now, as Dr. Phil notes, even political. And this week’s The Economist cover (see image)—a celebratory pink balloon shouting “Phew, it’s a girl!”—adds another sharp edge to this unfolding story. Its subtitle? “The stunning decline of boy preference.” As if boyhood were a liability to be discarded.

The Pill Metaphors: Understanding the Lens

Before going further, a quick primer for those unfamiliar with the "pill" terminology drawn from internet culture and now widely discussed in podcasts, forums, and sociological commentary:

Red Pill: Originating from The Matrix, taking the red pill means waking up to a "truth" that society allegedly hides—often used in men’s rights circles to highlight perceived injustices against men, such as biased family courts, educational neglect, or societal shaming of masculinity.
Blue Pill: This is the metaphor for staying within the comfort of mainstream narratives—believing everything is fine, that institutions are neutral, and traditional values no longer apply.
Black Pill: A dark offshoot of the red pill. It’s the belief that the system is irredeemably rigged, and there’s no hope. It often leads to nihilism, detachment, or in extreme cases, misogyny or incel (involuntary celibate) ideology.

Many boys today, especially in urban settings, drift between these states. Without strong families, mentors, or institutions to guide them, they’re easy prey to extremist ideologies, depression, or withdrawal.

A Society That’s Forgotten Its Sons

It wasn’t always like this. For generations, boys were celebrated and overindulged. But the correction that followed has now become overcorrection. We’ve gone from worrying about female infanticide and educational neglect to ignoring how boys are now:

Underperforming in school, dropping out at higher rates
Overrepresented in suicide statistics
Seen as inherently dangerous or toxic
Lacking male role models, especially in single-parent households

Even in India, where female child preference has historically lagged, there’s a visible shift in urban, elite, and media circles. More parents are now saying “Phew, it’s a girl!”—not always out of progressive joy but out of fear. Fear that raising a boy is riskier in today’s moral landscape.

Boys Are Not Toxic by Default

The catchphrase "toxic masculinity" has become the new scarlet letter. Yes, harmful behaviours exist—abuse, suppression of emotion, and aggression. But labelling an entire gender or socialisation pattern as toxic only suppresses natural instincts like protectiveness, ambition, and strength—traits that society desperately needs when channelled well.

This narrative is not just unfair—it’s dangerous. It sends boys into shame, withdrawal, and a warped view of the opposite sex. Worse, it discourages girls from seeing boys as allies, friends, and future partners.

The Backlash Is Coming—And It Should

Society is finally waking up. The DEI-industrial complex, extreme woke rhetoric, and one-sided gender narratives are losing traction. As politics shifts, particularly in Western democracies, there’s a growing space for common sense and cultural recalibration. If the pendulum swung too far in one direction, it's now inching back.

But boys can’t wait for a political rescue.

They need parents who support them, schools that engage them, and social spaces that don’t shame them. They need real-world mentors—not just “influencers”—who help them discover meaning, purpose, and emotional depth.

As I reflect on this topic, I remind myself that the Boy vs Girl debate is a false binary. We need both. One doesn’t thrive without the other. Imagine a society where the male-to-female ratio reverses, say 950 boys to 1000 girls—will society cheer then? Or panic?

What Can Be Done?

Here are a few practical ideas, especially for Indian parents and educators:

Stop shaming boys for being boys. Guide their energy, don’t suppress it.
Promote male role models in classrooms and homes—not just fathers but uncles, coaches, teachers.
Teach boys emotional expression without belittling their masculinity.
Help girls see boys as collaborators, not rivals or oppressors.
Encourage mixed-gender friendships in childhood and adolescence.
Push back against one-sided narratives in media and education.

Final Thought

In Tamil, we say “aan aanaiyil, penn pennaiyil”—a man in his masculinity, a woman in her femininity. Both are sacred, both are needed. It’s time we respected the divine balance instead of demonising one half of it.

Let’s not create a future where our daughters will ask: "Where have all the good men gone?"

Because we forgot to nurture them when it mattered most.

Karthik

7th June 2025 9am.