What Stays the Same and What Changes: Life at 16 vs. 61

 #656

Karaikudi 1981. (with cousin who is also settled in Bangalore). 

Today, as I complete 45 years, since I began my post schooling journey in 1980, (1/5/80) I find myself reflecting on life then and now, in 2025. At 16, (1980)I was a teenager full of dreams, navigating a simpler India with handwritten notes and landline phones. At 61, (2025) I stand wiser, shaped by decades of experiences, from black-and-white TVs, local friends to AI-driven smartphones and global network over 40 countries. This post, explores what remains true from 16 to 61 and what changes as life unfolds, inspired by my journey.

What Stays the Same: Timeless Truths

Some lessons are eternal, guiding us through life’s highs and lows, as true in 1980 as they are in 2025.

1. Adapt and Create Your Path
   Life demands adaptability. At 16, you adjust to new friends or tough teachers. At 61, you tackle career shifts or family changes. You must carve your own path, whether moving to a new city for a job or rebuilding after a setback. For me, leaving the comfort of home for better career prospects, 1000 miles away, was a bold move that paid off. Acquiring the right credentials as I evolved, launched my career, while failures—like a bad boss or my wife’s miscarriage—brought out my resilience and strength and push frontiers. Yes, at 16 and 61, Friends/ great colleagues matter, they are your Vitamins. 

2. Don’t Brood, Move On
   If something troubles you, don’t waste time sulking. At 16, you might dislike a subject—move on. At 61, it could be a job loss or a fight—act, change, or let go. Brooding solves nothing; action does. You create your path and destiny. End of story. 

3. Parents Are Your First Mentors
   At 16, you might ignore your parents’ advice, thinking you know better. By 61, you miss their wisdom and unconditional love. They are your first leaders, shaping your values, even if you realize it later. Amazing I hear this same thought from 100s of leaders in their lectures and podcasts, 45 years on. 

4. Success Isn’t About Degrees
   Marks and degrees matter, but they don’t define success. In 1980, I chased opportunities, not just grades, knowing I could seize the moment as it came. In 2025, it’s about ideas—starting a small business or solving problems. Success lies in maintaining integrity and radical candor, thinking clearly, and acting boldly.

5. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
   Life throws curveballs—failing an exam at 16 or a plan falling apart at 61. Don’t dwell on mistakes. I scored 8/100 in a subject once, and it didn’t break me. Years later, I quit a job in 10 minutes flat—didn’t lose sleep over it. Laugh, learn, and work on the next plan.

6. Family First, But Be Resilient
   Family is your anchor, at 16 or 61. But storms—loss, fights, or distance—can strike. Learn to stand alone when needed. Being self-reliant, like an island, helps you face life’s toughest moments. I recollect my lonely moments of I, me, myself, for good 18 months (twice) before being 25. That muscle memory will help me as I face life in coming days. 

What’s Different: Lessons You Learn by 61

At 16, life feels like a grand adventure. By 61, you see its complexity, and some truths only time reveals. Here’s what changes.

1. Flexibility Over Rigidity
   At 16, you’re stubborn, clinging to your beliefs. By 61, you learn to bend. Opinions flow like water, shifting with new experiences. Staying rigid—in politics or personal views—blocks growth.

2. A Complete Life Needs Balance
   At 16, you think money and family are everything. At 61, you realize health, fitness, hobbies, community, and helping others are just as vital. A fulfilling life blends wellness, creativity, and service, not just a bank balance.

3. Marriage: Love and Partnership
   At 16, love feels like a romance movie with all going good. At 61, you value a wife who loves and supports you over chasing a dream partner. In India, trusting elders to guide your choice often works—marriage is a lottery, and their wisdom simplifies the odds.

4. Marriage Deepens Beyond the Obvious
   Young love is about romance and kids. By 61, marriage becomes companionship, built on shared struggles and quiet moments. The real bond grows stronger as you age, far beyond physical attraction. As my cousin said,"Real Marriage starts when you hit 60"

5. Success Is a Slow Grind
   At 16, you dream of overnight fame. At 61, you know success is a marathon—small steps, failures, and retries. Your thoughts and beliefs shape your path, but it’s persistent effort that wins.

6. Motivation Comes from Within
   At 16, you crave approval from friends or teachers. At 61, you seek autonomy (freedom to choose), mastery (improving at something), and purpose (doing meaningful work). Being valued for who you are is life’s greatest reward. 

7. Travel Humbles You
   At 16, your world is small—your town, your people. By 61, global travel and meeting diverse cultures crush your ego. Seeing the world’s vastness grounds you, teaching humility.

Regrets and Reflections

Regrets? None whatsoever! I once cribbed to my dad about not moving from Karaikudi to a bigger city, but that was just a childish wish. Looking back, I’m content with how life unfolded.

A passing thought: (What-If) I sometimes wonder if Lalitha, was my high school sweetheart,& could’ve been later my wife. But at 13, I’d have probably overlooked her as “just another face in the crowd”! I always believed in “marry and love,” so it’s just a playful what-if, not a regret.

2025 

Conclusions: Bridging 1980 and 2025

From 1980 to 2025, the world has transformed. At 16, besides studies for a pass, (Not for top spot etc.)  life was about chasing printed books from libraries, local dreams, and cricket,and landline calls in a pre-liberalization India. Today, it’s smartphones, global jobs, Inter continental travel like backyard visit, iBooks, and AI (Cricket long dead inside me). Yet, some truths endure—adapting, resilience, and family remain the backbone of a good life. What changes is perspective: flexibility, balance, and meaningful relationships grow clearer with time.

My 45-year journey since ending school began teaches this: embrace change but hold on to timeless values. At 16 or 61, life rewards those who act, learn, run, and stay grounded. Success isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon with endurance and pain the end game of joy. While the world shifts from typewriters to touchscreens, the heart of life—love, purpose, and resilience—stays the same.

What are your thoughts? What remained same/What changed for you?
Karthik.

1/5/24. 

915am.