#649
Hey folks, If you’ve ever chased the dream of work-life balance, you’ve probably realized it’s a mirage. I used to believe in it, but over the past 25 years, I’ve seen the world change—and my thinking along with it. From the myth of balance to making tough choices with my wife, Lalitha, to now accepting that you’ve got to pick one focus and go all-in, I’ve lived this shift. Let me take you through why work-life balance is dead, what’s driven this change, and how I’ve navigated it. Buckle up—this is my story, and I bet parts of it will hit home for you.
When Balance Seemed Possible (Pre-2000s)
Back in the day, everyone talked about work-life balance like it was the holy grail. The idea was that with a good planner and some discipline, you could nail your job and still have time for family, hobbies, and a decent night’s sleep. Companies dangled flexible hours, and the 40-hour workweek felt sacred. Bosses actually noticed when you stayed late. It was a time of stable jobs, predictable career paths, and a sense that your employer had your back.
But even then, things were starting to crack. Globalization meant fiercer competition, and tech—think pagers and clunky cell phones—was creeping into our personal lives. The ground was shifting, and balance was about to take a hit.
Choosing Work, with Lalitha’s Blessing (2000s–2010s)
By the 2000s, I was done with the balance fantasy. I’d heard Jack Welch, the GE legend, say you can’t have it all at once—you’ve got to choose. That hit me hard. Work-life choice made sense in a world where smartphones kept you on call 24/7 and dual-income (Lalitha's part time) families like mine were the norm. So, Lalitha and I sat down and made a plan. From 2000 to 2012, we decided: work would be my domain, and life—family, home, all the personal stuff—would be hers. I committed to a 20-year window to pour everything into my career, knowing she’d hold down the fort.
It wasn’t easy, but it worked. We talked it through, set clear norms, and trusted each other. I went all-in on work, climbing the ladder, while Lalitha managed the chaos of family life. That clarity kept us sane. And here’s the kicker—I wrapped up my work focus seven years early and came back to her domain, ready to share the load. That choice gave us structure when the world was getting messier.
What changed, 2005 on wards, to make choice the new reality? A lot:
Tech Took Over: Smartphones and cloud computing meant work never stopped. I was answering emails / calls at crazy times as well as living on a suitcase with globe trotting, and so were my colleagues.
Economic Shocks: The 2008 recession killed job security. Layoffs, flat wages, and global competition forced me to double down on work to stay ahead. Oh yes it gave the resillience to manage stuff/ uncertainties in life.
Hustle Culture: The world started worshipping overwork. Guys like Elon Musk made 90-hour weeks sound noble, and so there is pressure......
Nuclear Family Struggles: With no extended family nearby, Lalitha and I had to handle everything ourselves. Our pact was our lifeline—without it, we’d have drowned.
Back then, 50 hours a week was a big deal. My boss would slap me on the back for it. But even as I leaned into work, I could feel the ground shifting again.
One Focus, No Apologies (2020s–Now)
Fast forward to 2025, and things have gone next-level intense. I was listening to Dave Ramsey on Shawn Ryan’s show, and they nailed it: work or life is a “fixed certainty” now. You don’t just choose—you commit 100% to one, and the other takes a backseat. No toggling, no half-measures. I’ve felt this shift in my bones. The world doesn’t let you straddle both anymore, and I’ve had to pick my lane with zero regrets.
Why’s it so different now? Here’s what I see in 2025
Economic Chaos: Inflation, supply chain messes, and global tensions have made jobs shaky. Companies want more, always. Folks put in 90 hours a week now, and their boss barely blinks—back even in 2021, 50 hours a week, got one a gold star.
Tech Overload: AI and automation have raised the bar. People are not just competing with people but with machines that never clock out. Plus, one got to keep learning new skills just to stay relevant.
Family Pressures: Folks are in a nuclear family, and it’s brutal. Childcare costs more than rent, and there’s no village to help. When they focus on family, it’s all or nothing—same as work.
Ungrateful Workplaces: The pandemic blurred work and home for good. Remote work sounded great, but now bosses expect you to be “on” all the time. They’ve gone from appreciative to entitled, and it stings. Remote work means absent workers at desk and when the lay offs come, they are first in block being considered lazy!!!
Mental Health Toll: Everyone’s burned out. I read that 70% of workers are overwhelmed, and I get it. Choosing work feels like abandoning family; choosing life feels like tanking my career.
Uncertainty Everywhere: Climate issues, political fights, social divides—it’s all a lot. It pushes people to lock in on one thing, whether it’s securing my job or being there for their significant other.
My Take, and a Nod to You
This shift from balance to choice to fixed priorities has been a wild ride. I mourn the days when balance seemed possible, but I’m proud of how Lalitha and I made choice work. Our 2000–2012 pact gave me the freedom to crush it at work and still come back to her early. But this new reality, where you’ve got to go all-in on one thing? It’s tough. It feels like the world’s squeezing us, leaving no room for error.
Still, there’s power in it. Knowing I can pick what matters—work when I need to provide, family when Lalitha or the kids need me—gives me purpose. But the system’s brutal. It rewards output, not humanity. My advice? Take control where you can. Set boundaries, like saying no to unpaid overtime. Redefine success—maybe it’s being present, not just promoted. Lalitha and I learned that clear communication and trust are everything. Whatever your fixed priority is right now, own it, protect it, and don’t let the world guilt you into thinking you’re doing it wrong.
Wrapping Up
Work-life balance is dead, folks. The world’s too fast, too demanding, for that old dream. From the hopeful 1990s to my choice-driven years with Lalitha, we’re now in a 2025 where you pick one thing and run with it. My journey taught me that intentional choices, backed by a partner who gets it, can make the impossible work. But today’s pressures—economic, tech, Personal and social—force us to focus like never before. So, tell me, what’s your fixed priority right now? And how are you holding the line?
Karthik
16th April 2025
2pm.
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