#636
Lately, I’ve been noticing something troubling—whether it’s WhatsApp forwards, posts, Message boards, or chai-time chats, people in India seem to be wrestling with some serious inner demons. I’m talking about self-mastery derailers: Self-Pity, Self-Doubt, Self-Sabotage (or Self-Derangement), Timidness, and Anxiety/Worry/Fear. These aren’t just fancy words—they’re like viruses eating away at our potential, both at home and in the workplace. As someone who’s always been a go-getter (High D personality, if you know DISC!), I’ve rarely let these bog me down. But yes, I’ll admit, anxiety’s been knocking on my door lately—father to four kids, growing older, and the world going bonkers doesn’t help!
Today, let’s unpack these derailers, see why they’re harmful, figure out how to kick them out of our lives, and explore what companies, managers, and peers can do to help. Ready? Let’s dive in.
What Are These Derailers and Why Are They Harmful?
- Self-Pity: "Poor me, life’s so unfair!"
This is when you sit and sulk, blaming everyone—boss, family, even the traffic—for your woes. It’s harmful because it keeps you stuck in victim mode. No progress, no growth—just a sob story. I’ve seen colleagues miss promotions because they’d rather complain than act. - Self-Doubt: "Am I good enough? Maybe not."
That nagging voice questioning your every move? That’s self-doubt. It stops you from taking risks or grabbing opportunities. Think of that talented coder who never applies for a lead role because “I’m not ready”—progress stalled! - Self-Sabotage/Self-Derangement: "I’ll mess it up anyway, so why try?"
This is when you’re your own worst enemy—procrastinating, skipping deadlines, or picking fights for no reason. It’s like digging a hole and jumping into it. A friend once tanked a big project by delaying prep, convinced he’d fail anyway. - Timidness: "Better stay quiet than rock the boat."
Shyness or fear of speaking up kills your voice. In Indian offices, I see this a lot—people nodding in meetings but never sharing ideas. Result? No innovation, no growth. - Anxiety, Worry, Fear: "What if everything goes wrong?"
This trio is a real buzzkill. It’s overthinking every step, worrying about the future, or fearing failure. I feel it too—will my kids turn out okay? Will I have enough for tomorrow? It paralyses you, and nothing moves forward.
These derailers don’t just slow you down—they rob you of confidence, kill your dreams, and make workplaces toxic. No wonder productivity’s taking a hit!
How Can You Overcome These Derailers?
Alright, enough gloom—let’s talk solutions, My-style!
- Self-Pity: Stop the blame game. Take charge! List three things you can control today—like finishing a task or hitting the gym. Small wins kill self-pity fast.
Example: My relative used to crib about his dead-end job. I told him to upskill online. Six months later, he’s a team lead—true story! - Self-Doubt: Fake it till you make it, Start small—pitch one idea in a meeting or take on a tiny project. Each success shuts that voice up.
Case Study: Look at PV Sindhu—she didn’t become a badminton champ by doubting herself. She trusted her gut and trained hard. - Self-Sabotage: Set deadlines and stick to them. Tell a friend to nag you if you slack. Accountability works wonders.
Example: A colleague kept missing client calls. We paired him with a buddy to check in daily—boom, he’s on track now. - Timidness: Practice speaking up. Start with low-stakes stuff—like asking a question in a group. Confidence builds with reps.
Example: I know a junior developer, who’d never talk in reviews. One day, he shared a bug fix idea—now he’s the go-to guy! - Anxiety/Worry/Fear: Breathe, plan, act. Write down your fears, then list one step to tackle each. Meditation helps too—I’ve started 10 minutes daily, and it’s a game-changer.
Case Study: Look at how ISRO keeps launching satellites despite setbacks—they plan, prep, and push past the jitters.
What Can Organisations, Managers, and Peers Do?
This isn’t just a solo fight—workplaces need to step up too. Here’s how:
- Organisations: Build a vibe where mistakes are okay, and growth is king. Offer workshops on resilience—Infosys does this well with their mental health programs.
Example: A Bangalore startup I know runs “Failure Fridays”—folks share flops and lessons. No self-pity survives that! - Managers: Spot these derailers early. If someone’s quiet or panicky, don’t judge—coach them. Give clear goals and cheer small wins.
Case Study: A manager at TCS turned a timid intern into a star by giving him bite-sized tasks and public praise. - Peers: Be a bro, not a foe. If your teammate’s doubting himself, hype him up! Share your own struggles—makes it real.
Example: My work buddy back in corporate days, was freaking out about a presentation. We rehearsed together, and he nailed it—teamwork FTW!
Final Thoughts
I am signing off with this: self-mastery isn’t rocket science, but it takes guts. These derailers—Self-Pity, Self-Doubt, Self-Sabotage, Timidness, and Anxiety—are like potholes on the road to success. Dodge them, fix them, and keep driving. At work or home, we’ve all got the power to rise above. So, what’s your next move? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your take!
Karthik
16th March 2025
1030am.
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