The Power of Saying NO: Protecting Your Sanity at Work (Specially for those below 30).

 #549

I read with deep sadness and frustration about the tragic death of a 26-year-old woman working at EY India in Pune. Not even a year into her job, she succumbed to the crushing weight of work stress. Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident. I remember reading last year about a highly qualified McKinsey, consultant, a graduate of IIT/IIM, who ended his life by jumping from the 9th floor, driven by unbearable work pressure. These stories haunt me because they’re not anomalies but part of a disturbing trend, especially in India and across other developing nations.

I can’t help but wonder how many such cases go unnoticed—100, maybe more? And what's worse is that these young people, with promising futures, are driven to such extremes because they feel the crushing expectation of giving everything to their jobs. The sad reality is that as companies try to do more with fewer people, shrinking profit margins, and fierce competition, they end up squeezing employees dry, down to their bones.

Why do we let it get this far?
In many Asian cultures, especially in India, we often treat our jobs like pre-spouses—something we must wed and devote ourselves to, no matter the cost. The result is burnout. With the rise of nuclear families and job relocations taking young professionals far away from their support systems—mom, dad, and even lifelong friends—they are left to manage life on their own. This, combined with high expectations, creates an impossible load to bear. India joined this bandwagon in the past 25 years or so. 

Today's generation, too, seems to have lower resilience in dealing with such intense demands. They often hesitate to ask for help, afraid of being perceived as weak. In a society that worships success, many forget that failure is a crucial part of the journey, something no one ever told them while growing up.

So, what can a young professional under 30 do to maintain both sanity and success at work?
First and foremost—learn to say NO. And sometimes, say it loudly and unapologetically. When I look back at my own career, I recall instances where I had to throw down some explicit language—whether it was an F-bomb or a well-timed insult—to get my point across. And guess what? My results never suffered because I knew when to push back, and that pushback was necessary. In fact, there’s a certain power in being able to stand up for yourself, even if it means you have to be a bit of a "thug" at work. If you don't, the job will eventually drain the life out of you.

I’ve witnessed this reality firsthand in my own family. My daughter, who worked at a BIG 4 @ India here in Bangalore, and had a similar experience to the tragic stories I’ve read about. The pressure was relentless, and the culture of squeezing employees for every ounce of energy was in full force. Fortunately, she had us as her support system, but not every young professional is as lucky. Even in this high-stress environment, she had a direct manager who was considerate and helped her get through the toughest periods with his bit. However, the partners? Well, they were a horror show, nothing short of corporate thuggery, with a devil may care attitude.

But there’s a silver lining in my daughter's story—sometimes, being in a bad team or environment gives you the clarity to realize that you deserve better. It forces you to look outside for new opportunities, which is exactly what Radha did a couple of years later. (Oh yes She was harrassed by a couple of Bastad managers in letting her go upon serving separation letter!) She found a healthier environment in the new job, where she could thrive and later moved to USA. It wasn’t an easy path, but saying NO to a toxic culture and looking for better opportunities paid off in the end. That is how work culture is in India since evil evolution of Y2K. ( I will say India's 9/11 Moment). 

What organizations can do
Companies need to recognize that their employees are human beings, not cogs in a profit-making machine. Indian and Asian workplaces tend to foster a culture where long hours are worn like a badge of honor. This has to stop. Instead, companies should encourage healthier work habits, promote resilience-building, and normalize asking for help.

• Create Boundaries: Young professionals should be encouraged to set and maintain boundaries. Leaders must understand that productivity doesn’t correlate with long hours but with well-rested, focused minds.

• Foster a Culture of "Help": There should be no shame in seeking assistance. This could mean better access to mental health support, mentorship, or simply creating an environment where asking questions isn’t seen as a weakness.

• Teach Resilience: We need to help the younger generation develop a healthier relationship with failure. If failure is treated as a learning experience, rather than an end, young professionals will be able to manage stress better.

At the end of the day, success is important, but it should not come at the cost of your health, sanity, or life. Saying "No" isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you value yourself and your future.

Let me know what do you think?
Karthik.

18th Sep 2024. 1pm.